Oh the joys of working at Wal-mart!...This is my fourth summer at good old Wally World. It's been a great college job for me. I work in the summer and over my breaks, and have earned a lot of my tuition money here. I've been a cashier, a people greeter, a cart collector, I've answered phones and transferred calls, I've worked in seasonal, lawn and garden, toys, housewares, domestics, clothing, layaway, fitting room, Personnel, and currently I'm working in the Produce department.
Yes, that's right! I'm the new fruit and veggie girl
this summer. What an amusing job. I have lots of amusing Wal-Mart stories
to tell, so that will be the function of this page. I'm going to post my
stories, embarassing moments, and mishaps for everyone to read. Stay tuned!
The fun is only beginning...
Ok. First story. I had only been employed by Wal-Mart
a few weeks working as a cashier. It was nearing Father's Day, and a lady
came through my line to purchase a fishing pole and a tackle box. (presumably
for a husband or father) I rang up the tackle box, but couldn't seem to
find the price tag on the pole. As I was inspecting it, turning it over
and waving it around, I hit the lady right upside the head with it. Oops!
She was not amused, but I couldn't stop laughing!
Not long after the "fishing pole incident", I injured
another customer in my line. He was buying a pair of pants, and they were
on the kind of hanger that has metal clips. These metal clips are supposed
to slide easily back and forth, but this particular hanger was being difficult.
The clips wouldn't budge to release the pants. I pushed and pushed on them
until one sprang loose -- flying through the air and nailing the guy right
in the nuts. Oops! Again, I had to stifle my giggles while the poor guy
grimaced in pain.
While we're discussing injuries, in a totally unrelated
story, I once had a cellular phone dropped on my head while working in
Personnel! The office was being remodeled, and the head of the construction
crew was doing something with the ceiling tile. He was standing on a chair,
poking at the ceiling with the antenna of his cell phone. For some reason,
the phone slipped right out of his hand, and thunked me on the head on
the way down. Ouch! I guess it was payback for the fishing pole incident!
Another injury accured during my first day on the job
in the produce department. I slipped on a grape and stubbed my toe on the
trash compactor. Those grapes are slippery little suckers!
It seems a lot of weird things happen to me in the produce department. Last week at work I dropped a 5 pound bag of potatoes on my foot, I caused an apple avalanche, and I also dropped a case of grapes on the floor in the cooler. oops! (again)
Some interesting things I've learned working in the
produce department: I've learned how to "tray and wrap" squash, how to
exfoliate corn, how to tell the difference between a number of ripe and
rotten fruits and vegetables, how to turn on the trash compactor and the
cardboard box bailer, and I've learned all about the wonders of "quality
control." oooh. how exciting.
Sad to say I suffered yet another injury this 4th of July weekend. It was not my fault, however. The store was very crowded that afternoon, and the produce department was having a special sale on strawberries. One pound for one dollar. No kidding! One customer, in her haste to get to the strawberry display, did not see me walking by and slammed her already overflowing cart right into my knee. OUCH! It left a rather large bruise, but other than that, I escaped unscathed.
I suffered a major embarassing moment a few weeks ago
when the produce manager was helping me stock grapes. He was trying to
help me finish up so that I could go to lunch. However, every time I positioned
a bag of grapes on the table, he would move it. It was a bit annoying,
to say the least. I remarked "Where exactly do you want me to stick these?"
He didn't reply, so I kind of grumbled to myself "Well, I guess I'll just
stick them somewhere..." I didn't mean the comment to come out sounding
so saracastic, but I think he took it that way because he said to me "Well,
I know I was bending over, but I don't want you to stick the grapes there!"
He thought I meant I wanted to stick them up his ass because he was annoying
me! But that's not what I meant at all! I was so embarassed! He just laughed
at me, but my face sure was red..."
Here's a good joke I heard from a friend at work:
"What's the difference between a produce manager and a gourmet chef? The
way he displays his cucumber!"
I did my first ever Beavis and Butthead impression
the other day. I was husking an ear of corn, and just to be silly, I held
it up saying "I am cornholio! I need corn for my bunghole!" My co-workers
looked at me a little strangely, as this is out of character for me, but
after that cucumber joke I was in a pretty goofy mood!
A watermelon story! Before we cut watermelon into quarters
or halves to sell, we must first wash it off. In one sink basin, we wash
it in water and "vegi-wash," (some mix of anti-bacterial germ killing stuff),
and then we rinse it in another sink basin full of regular tap water. I
was washing a watermelon one evening, and in the process of transferring
it out of the vegi-wash and into the tap water, the slippery thing slid
right out of my hands. It landed in the second sink basin, but not without
causing a giant tidal wave soaking my face, my hair, my shirt, the countertop,
and the floor! Luckily, no one was looking when this happened!
Here's another produce related joke: Which vegetable
always wins a race? Lettuce! Because it's always "ahead!"
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